I Choose
You
Your ceremony is a unique, deeply personal experience that you and your partner will treasure forever. For such an important moment in your life, finding the right celebrant to take you through your vows, and who complements both your personalities and the style of your big day, is crucial. Katie Livingston seeks advice from authorised marriage celebrant, Rosemarie Farthing of Ceremonies by Rosemarie, as to how you can find the (other) one for you.
Image Credit: Adam Lei Brown
Legal requirements aside, your marriage celebrant can play a significant role at your ceremony, from an emotional support to guide you as you make your promises to each other, to helping coordinate your friends and family, and even offering a wealth of advice for the entire wedding planning process. With this in mind, it’s essential that you can trust your celebrant will put in an appropriate amount of time and effort into making your ceremony exactly the way you envisioned.
Judging A Book By Its Cover
You’re going to be working closely with them as you prepare for arguably the biggest moment of your life, so before you decide on a celebrant, Rosemarie encourages brides- and grooms-to-be to meet with a prospective celebrant first.
“Although we’re taught not to judge a book by its cover, first encounters leave a profound impression,” Rosemarie notes. “I believe a professional appearance and good diction are essentials for a celebrant and that’s what I would look for.” Most celebrants offer an obligation-free meeting, so share a cup of coffee (or tea!) and get to know their personality and see if it meshes well with you and your partner. “Personally, I would be looking for someone who isn’t overbearing, but also isn’t dithering,” Rosemarie elaborates. “A good celebrant fits somewhere along this continuum as well as being attentive, sensitive and tactful. That’s why it’s so important to speak to each celebrant [that] you’re contemplating on hiring.”
There are a host of questions you could ask when meeting with a potential celebrant for the first time, and of course many of these will be uniquely related to you and your ceremony, but a good place to start is with their fee, and what this includes. Rosemarie also advises you to enquire about their cancellation policy, the qualifications of your celebrant, how many ceremonies they have performed and how many they book per day. “If your celebrant has another wedding booked the same day as yours, you want to make sure there is plenty of time allocated between them, so the celebrant isn’t rushing through your ceremony. I can’t think of anything worse,” she adds.
Jack Of All Trades
While it’s common practice for a celebrant to have their own PA system and signing table for hire, it’s always good to check what equipment the celebrant provides as part of their service. In some cases, your celebrant may also offer a range of other services including equipment and decoration hire, MC and DJ services, venue hire, wedding planning, photography, hair and makeup, catering, flowers, dress hire, and even vehicle hire. Booking these services through your celebrant can save a lot of time and stress in the long run and can also provide an overall continuity to your wedding day. Rosemarie notes that “a vibrant MC with a bubbly persona and loads of experience would probably make a very confident celebrant who could bring all those skills to write a meaningful ceremony”. Some celebrants will also have a list of recommended vendors that they have worked with in the past, so if you’re struggling to find a particular service to suit your style, it’s always good to check with your celebrant.
Up Close And Personal
Incorporating your own unique spin on your ceremony is an excellent way to create a memorable event with lasting impact and celebrate your mutual interests and personalities as a couple. As a result, themed weddings are becoming increasingly popular, and if this is an idea you are entertaining for your nuptials, it’s vital that you choose a celebrant who complements the theme you have in mind. “If the couple have their hearts set on a themed wedding then the first question to ask a celebrant is ‘will they do it?’” Rosemarie advises, also noting that this would depend on the theme itself, and the costumes involved. “Most celebrants would be game enough to go along with a themed wedding but that all depends on whether we’re talking about kilts and sporrans, Hawaiian shirts with leis or steampunk/ goth costumes…if the costume is not something you can put together from the items in your closet, I’m fairly certain the couple will incur the cost of hiring the outfit for the celebrant,” Rosemarie adds.
There are numerous ways a celebrant can help you to add a personal touch to your service without going all out on a theme, and Rosemarie flags writing your own wedding vows or
incorporating the story of how you met as an ideal start to create a greater sense of intimacy and individualise your ceremony. This also gives the opportunity to add a splash of humour to your big day – provided that’s your style, of course.
“In addition, so many heartfelt poems and readings can be included in the ceremony,” Rosemarie explains. “My favourite is titled ‘The Promises of Marriage’ by Bettie Meeks.” She also notes that asking a friend or family member to read the poem can make this sentimental moment even more emotional.
There are also an abundance of rituals and traditions that your celebrant can perform or oversee to celebrate your nuptials, so if you have something distinctive in mind, make sure to discuss such ideas with any celebrants you might be considering.
Keep Calm And Marry On
Your wedding is one of the most magical days of your life, but it can also be the most nerve-wracking, especially if you’re one to shy away from the spotlight. It’s important to choose a celebrant who can put you at ease during the ceremony, and can confidently tackle any unexpected surprises that may crop up.
“Being the centre of attention can be difficult for some couples so it’s best to have a rehearsal to give them more self-confidence for the big day,” Rosemarie says. “In addition, I provide little laminated cheat sheets (or rather, cards) for the bride and groom to provide that extra sense of assurance.”
On a day as personal as your wedding, choosing a celebrant that not only puts you at ease, but is able to tackle any unexpected events, and properly articulate the unique bond between you and your partner is essential. Expressing your vision for your wedding clearly, doing your research and asking the important questions will help you ensure your celebrant is the perfect choice to officiate your nuptials.