Made of Honour
Every bride needs her girlfriends. They’re the glue that holds you together, through good times and bad, so there’s something remarkably special about planning your wedding day with your girls by your side. Tijan Biner explores a few key aspects to consider, for both a bride and her bridesmaids, when it comes to tackling the big day together.
Being a bridesmaid is a tradition that’s powerfully rooted in history. Whether it’s your sister, best friend or cousin, a maid of honour or bridesmaid often plays host to a laundry list of responsibilities, from helping with the wedding favours to bustling the gown. Being part of a bridal party is a wonderfully rewarding experience, but it can also be an extremely emotional or tense time for both parties if things don’t go as planned. There are a number of important aspects to consider for both the bride and her bridal party in the lead up to the big day, so Western Australia Wedding & Bride covers all of the duties in detail to ensure it runs as smoothly as possible.
THE ROLE
The role of a bridesmaid differs slightly from the maid or matron of honour. The maid of honour serves as the chief bridesmaid; she’s the one who’ll accompany the bride through every aspect
of the wedding planning, from finalising the finishing touches of the engagement party to standing beside her at the altar. It’s often the maid of honour’s responsibility to organise and host pre-wedding events, such as the kitchen tea and hens night, and accompany the bride on appointments with vendors. Although not the main sidekick, but still a very significant person throughout your pre-wedding journey, a bridesmaid is a member of the bridal party who is often a sister, cousin or close friend. Bridesmaids will accompany you on exciting ventures such as dress shopping, mailing out invitations and helping with décor. Whether it’s a maid of honour or bridesmaid, it’s their job to simply keep you happy! In the lead up to the big day, your bridesmaids will assist you when shopping for dresses and putting together the special little details.
On the day, they take over any stresses with a smile, keep your nerves at bay, ensure you’re ready on time, and make sure you’ve had breakfast! When it comes to choosing your bridal squad, look beyond the length of a friendship and focus on the qualities of each person. Your bridesmaids should be people you can rely on and – more importantly – who you can have fun with. You’ll experience an array of emotions on your wedding day, so surrounding yourself with people who have your best interests at heart will make the experience even more special.
TIMES ARE CHANGIN’
At ancient Roman weddings, the matron of honour was seen as a moral role model who was known for fidelity and obedience. She had to have been married no more than once, and to have a living husband, otherwise she could not accept the position. In early Victorian times, bridesmaids – who had to have been younger than the bride – wore white dresses with short veils to contrast with the bride’s lavish veil.
There were also a number of conspiracy theories that haunted brides-to-be. It was believed that bridesmaids needed to walk as straight as possible down the aisle, and if they stumbled on the way to the altar, it was believed that the bride would never marry! Both bridesmaid and maid of honour roles have drastically changed over time, particularly in regards to whom a bride should include in her party. There may have always been the expectation that if a bride has a sister, and she was married, she would be assigned as chief bridesmaid or matron of honour. Nowadays, times have changed that a matron of honour can be a sister, other relative or friend, and can have been married previously. If you have a close male friend or brother, you may even want to enlist a ‘man of honour’ to stand beside you at the altar. Similarly, the bride or her parents were often expected to cover the costs of the bridal party’s attire years ago, but bridesmaids are now more than happy to chip in where they can. They may now be asked to contribute to the costs of their look, such as
purchasing shoes or the dress, or paying for their hair and makeup.
KEEPING YOU SMILING
The main responsibility of a bridesmaid or maid of honour is to keep the bride happy; it’s your day, and your girls should be there for you through every step of the way. The months leading up to a wedding is such an exciting time for a bride, so your bridesmaids shouldn’t cause unnecessary stress by complaining about their dress, or what their makeup looks like on the day. Although shopping for bridesmaids’ dresses can be fun, it can be a particularly touchy topic for some, and shopping for them can often cause drama between girls. Your bridesmaids may want some input, because they’ll want to dress for their shape, size and what they feel most comfortable in, but they may not want to speak up in fear of disappointing the bride. Although you should certainly listen to one of your girlfriends if they are extremely unhappy
with their look, a bridesmaid should wear what you have picked for them. Your bridesmaids should also have a balance between ‘bride time’ and their normal, everyday life. The last thing you want is for one of your girlfriends to refer to themselves as a ‘bride slave’ because of unrealistic demands that may be expected of them. If there are times when their family life or work needs to take priority in the lead up to the wedding day, don’t push her to accompany you shopping or packaging the wedding favours. If they’re being repeatedly asked to drop things and make other arrangements at the last minute to accompany you to fittings or appointments, this can lead to tension in the long run. While it’s perfectly fine to ask for their help, acknowledge their generosity and don’t get upset if they can’t make it.
SAYING THANKS
The big day has finally arrived, and your girlfriends have been by your side every step of the way. It’s always nice to let your girls know how important their presence has been; it’ll make them feel appreciated, and it’s simply a lovely way to thank them for their efforts. Presenting your bridesmaids with a small gift on the morning of the wedding will be a beautiful start to the day. You may want to gift your maids
with their favourite perfume, give them a unique piece of jewellery, or put together a pamper pack with all the essentials they’ll need for the night before the wedding.
POST-WEDDING DUTIES
After the wedding is over, the maid of honour and bridesmaids can assist the bride with any post-wedding tasks. These may include returning decorations that were hired, taking the cake home to prepare it for preservation, packing away and conserving the bridal bouquets, or dropping your gown to the dry cleaners. You’ve shared this entire experience with your girls, so they’ll be more than happy to assist with any post-wedding errands while you enjoy your honeymoon. Your bridesmaids and maid of honour are an integral part of your wedding day; they’ll be on hand to comfort, console, multitask and spread the joy. Saying thank you, in any way you wish, is important to show how much you appreciate not only their efforts, but also their time, love and never-ending support. Your girls certainly share a few things in common – their love for you and their longing to ensure you are the happiest and most beautiful version of yourself on your special day!